http://www.articlearmies.com Articles posted by saturnino. en-us Copyright (c) 2005 ArticleTime.com http://www.articlearmies.com/articles/Sexuality/the-early-stages-in-meeting-someone.html Men and women are on two different timetables with respect to relationships. Why do we delude ourselves, cover up truth with a lie? Primarily because humans seek comfort as a natural part of our existence. Life doesn’t offer many comforts, physical or psychological. We’re forced to find these ourselves, and if we can’t find them, we make them. It’s easier to make ourselves feel better than risk feeling worse. So, what is so unique about the first couple weeks or months of dating that makes it such a volatile time in a relationship? Consider this: the early stages of meeting someone, determining if that chemistry is there and pursuing it with the right energy, is mostly art, not science. It is addressed with the most primal of human emotions and psychological processes. This is a zone where the Pundits like to think they know what’s going on. But, if you take notice, almost none of the books out there address the reality of finding someone to date. They all cover the late stages, where the couple has gotten past those awkward first couple months of lust and good times and is discovering that they have to work to keep it together. Too often, people stay together at this point only because they remember just how hard it was to get past the tough early stages. The early time, the first sixty days or so, is also subject to what it's called the Novelty Syndrome. The newness, the exciting thrill of this fresh possibility in your life, leads you to cover your eyes and tell yourself some very fancy lies. You’ll refuse to recognize the warning signals as they come up, and if you do, you can only prepare yourself for pain.Remember that everything new eventually becomes old. Every car you’ve ever owned lost its shine and luster. Every relationship you’ve ever had eventually wound down in one way or another. Why? Because your interest and attraction level in her lowered once you could take her for granted. Long-term relationships require a certain level of reinvestment to keep them going, and we’ll talk more about that later. The early stages (first sight through the first ten dates) are the trickiest part, and it’s an area that I propose can be addressed with a little science. When you can break it down, analyze it, and define the process in concrete steps, you’ll be less likely to fall into that “better than nothing” trap. As men, our nervous systems are tuned slightly different from women’s. Women derive enjoyment from the rollercoaster ride of their emotions. They feel fully engaged and alive when they are experiencing ecstatic highs and lows in their emotional spectrum. Men, on the other hand, enjoy smooth waters. We derive our satisfaction when we’re on a very level course, with little turbulence. What this means to you is that while you are in a hurry to find a decent woman you can have a smooth ride with, she’s not looking at the same picture. She sees the potential for pain in risking her heart to you. True, she wants monogamy – one man – but she’ll go at her own pace. The Big Trap that I’m referring to is that you are in a hurry to get into a steady relationship and out of the dating cycle for the wrong reasons. This trap presents itself most often to the guys that date infrequently or tend toward monogamous behavior. You want to get out of the wild turbulence of the dating ‘scene’ so that you can establish one woman in your life. There are many reasons men slide into immediate monogamy roles, and an incorrect understanding of female expectations is one of them. Another reason men move too fast is that guys don’t like the ambiguity and having to wonder every day if they’re going to get any sex. If they really understood how much opportunity there is out there in the singles world, they wouldn’t be in such a hurry to lock in their options.